One Year

Milestone

April 6^th marks the end of my first year in Indonesia. It’s not quite the half-way mark (that’s about six weeks from now), but it’s quite a milestone nonetheless.

It’s probably obvious from my steadily decreasing output, but these days I don’t feel the same urge to write that I did before.  Time passes and I encounter fewer and fewer surprises, so the need to process my experiences via writing diminishes. Moreover, I feel less compulsion to transmit any insights that come to me.  In my first six to eight months here, knowing that people were reading my posts was an oddly important source of validation.  Now—well, I guess it’s just not as important. 

Not that it’s disappeared altogether.  I’m still writing—albeit far less than before—and it still makes me happy to think that people are reading.  The major stuff in my life now has to do with the details of my work, my relationships with people in Indonesia, and personal growth.  There’s only so much one can write about growth before it all turns into vanity and repetitiveness.  As for my work, it’s something that I find interesting, but I think it would not greatly interest outsiders.  Plus, there’s something vaguely lame about being told that I’m “doing a great job” and “making a difference” by the well-intentioned, despite its coming from a place of affection.

I certainly don’t expect to stop writing.  I don’t think I’ll write any more infrequently than I have been, and time may see an uptick.  Who knows.  But at least I’ve got a good excuse!  I really have been busy.  With each week that passes, I’m better integrated than the week before.  Over the last month I’ve had a couple occasions to travel away from my site, and I’ve been shocked by how swiftly the readjustment takes place when I return.  Previously it would have taken days, or even a week, to get back into the rhythm, meanwhile warding off the Stuck-by-Myself-in-the-Middle-of-Nowhere blues.  Now it’s fast—about a day to readjust, and no blues. 

It has to be fast, because there’s always something going on.  When school is in session, I have extracurricular activities every day of the week.  My speaking/conversation club is up to six groups (30 kids), and it’s still growing.  As for the one-on-one student conversations, about 80% of my students have already had them, and we’ve got two full months to spare.  When I first arrived in Indonesia, I was somewhat anxious that I wouldn’t be able to think up or carry out any worthwhile community projects, but now I see I’ve got more ideas than I could possibly ever carry out.

Anyway, this being the one year anniversary, I thought I’d make a couple of lists.  Everyone loves lists!

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In the last year, I have not…

1.     Been outside of Indonesia.

2.     Seen a person I knew from before coming here (in the flesh!).

3.     Taken any illicit drugs.

4.     Watched a complete tennis, basketball, or football match.

5.     Driven a motor vehicle or paid for gas.

6.     Worn contact lenses.

7.     Attended a live concert.

8.     Drunk alcohol or eaten pork in my house/village/district.

9.     Eaten a sub sandwich.

10. Seen snow.

11. Played tennis.

12. Needed to use clothing to protect against cold.

13. Used anti-mosquito spray.

14. Watched any portion of a presidential debate.

15. Personally witnessed anyone argue about politics—Indonesian or American.

16. Entered a church.

17. Eaten cereal with milk for breakfast.

18. Eaten a blueberry, cherry, or raspberry.  Actually, I tried one of those gross pink cherries they put in milkshakes, but I spit it out.

19. Pet a cat. (I did pet one dog!)

20. Used conveniences such as a dishwasher, laundry machine, or vacuum cleaner.

21. Used hair conditioner.  I’ve used shampoo a couple of times, but mostly rely on body wash to take care of things.

22. Worn blue jeans.

23. Thought about quitting Peace Corps.  The commitment is rock solid.

24. Seen a woman driving a vehicle with an adult male passenger.  If there’s a man old enough to drive, he’s the one driving.  And I haven’t seen any female public transport drivers either.

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Sixty-Three Things I’ve Done in the Last Year That I’d Never Done Before

1.     I’ve used squat toilets.  Many, many times.

2.     I’ve taken bucket baths with freezing water (as well as with pleasantly cool water).

3.     I’ve lived full days without speaking English—very few, but there have been some.

4.     I’ve seen a volcano erupting.

5.     I’ve been caressed by an older woman that I didn’t know.

6.     I’ve gotten a professional massage.

7.     I’ve visited a Hindu temple.

8.     I’ve visited a Buddhist temple.

9.     I’ve participated in Friday prayers at a mosque.

10. I’ve eaten whole chili peppers to make bland food interesting.

11. I’ve ridden in a van with 20 people.

12. I’ve succeeded in bargaining an asking price down by 65%.

13. I’ve pooped in places that were neither the toilet nor my pants.

14. I’ve had to vomit and diarrhea at the same time.

15. I’ve eaten durian, dragonfruit, snakefruit, cassava, lychee, and rambutan.

16. I’ve taught in a classroom.

17. I’ve played guitar and sung Britney Spears in front of 30+ kids.

18. I’ve worn sandals to school.  Call me weird, but I never did that, even as a student in Florida.

19. I’ve looked at people wearing crazy batik patterns and admired their sense of style.

20. I’ve picked tiny fish heads out of my food.

21. I’ve been (unwittingly) offered maggoty chicken.

22. I’ve seen rice being harvested.

23. I’ve seen six people riding one motorcycle.

24. I’ve seen a pedestrian get hit by a motorcycle at about 30mph.

25. I’ve watched a person who was supposedly possessed by a demon leaping around in traffic on all fours, snarling and making wild noises.

26. I’ve witnessed people littering without any sense that it’s somehow contrary to societal norms.

27. I’ve had children and adolescents greet me by bowing and touching their face to my hand.

28. I’ve used the same greeting on a couple of occasions.

29. I’ve paid $1.50 for my lunch and felt I was getting ripped off.

30. I’ve gotten bed bugs.

31. I’ve worn a sarong, aka man-skirt.

32. I’ve organized my life and activities with a calendar.

33. I’ve eaten rice with my hands.

34. I’ve heard a real-life adzan (call to prayer).  By now I’ve heard well over a thousand.

35. I’ve seen a monkey tied to a stick.

36. I’ve slept under a mosquito net.

37. I’ve drunk the world’s most expensive coffee…for a quarter the price you would pay in the US.

38. I’ve gone five weeks without being in the presence of another white person.

39. I’ve given a speech in a foreign language in front of more than a hundred and fifty people.

40. I’ve fasted—no food, no water—between sunrise and sunset for a full month.

41. I’ve lied about my religious beliefs.

42. I’ve gotten a sunburn so bad that it left my forehead swollen.

43. I’ve drunk an avocado milkshake.

44. I’ve organized and carried out the painting of a mural.

45. I’ve played a 4-on-1 game of half-court basketball, and won.

46. I’ve been discomfited by PDA on public transportation.

47. I’ve seen a fish swimming in my bathwater and used it anyway.

48. I’ve abstained from listening to music for an extended period of time.

49. I’ve swerved off the road while riding my bicycle to avoid collisions with oncoming vehicles driving in my lane.

50. I’ve stood up for the entirety of a two-and-a-half-hour bus ride through mountains.

51. I’ve washed my clothing by hand.

52. I’ve recorded music of my own composition with lyrics.

53. I’ve posted videos to YouTube.

54. I’ve had a lizard drop from the ceiling onto my foot—without a flinch.

55. I’ve opted for a cold shower over a hot shower.

56. I’ve purchased a digital camera and used it regularly.

57. I’ve seen animal blood all over the same floor and in the same buckets that are used to wash clothing at my house.

58. I’ve seen an old man emptying his bowels into a canal in public.

59. I’ve seen a man crouching on the side of the road, staring into oblivion, completely naked.

60. I’ve succeeded at team juggling: five balls, two men, one goal.

61. I’ve stared at someone because they were white.

62. I’ve been woken by the smell of burning plastic garbage.

63. I’ve sported facial hair!

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Random

Not having headphones has changed some things for me.  I never spend time just listening to music anymore, and I rarely watch movies.  I’ve started reading again—though not at the insane pace I was keeping in the first few months of service.  I have also started listening to audiobooks, which is lovely.  How could I ever have strayed so far from the simple, powerful pleasure of listening to a story?  I listened to all of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, and I’ve been enjoying some of Shakespeare’s plays since then.  

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Changes/Self-Analysis

I’ve undergone a handful of important changes in the last year.  The most basic—which I’ve written about—has been a deep strengthening of my confidence coupled with a great reduction in fear.  I’ve coped well with all the adversity here.  What was once a feeling that I could succeed at anything is now a conviction.  I now have a better understanding of my talents and abilities.  And I know where my limits are when it comes to dealing with other people. 

Balancing that greater confidence are a couple new points of humility.  I didn’t set out to change all of Indonesia.  I knew, intellectually, that it’s foolish to expect or even hope to transform systems, especially as a single person working from the bottom.  Nonetheless, much naiveté has left me.  I think I’m more in tune with reality and possibility than I used to be.  This has helped me to concentrate my energy on achievable goals.  A second point of humility:  Since getting here, I have developed a far more acute sense of my own mortality.  Until this year, I felt invincible.  Now I know I’m mortal, and that knowledge has been largely responsible for keeping me humble and driving me to work harder.

Another important change in the last year has been in regards to my understanding of the non-Western world.  Indonesia hardly represents the whole “non-Western” world, but I think being here is enough to get a sense of the kinds of differences between the developing and the rich world.  Even those Westerners, like myself, who are instinctively fascinated with the developing world and defend it against cultural chauvinism can be perilously blind to its realities.

To go beyond that—I’ve also become more willing to admit that there are things that I simply can’t understand about the world.  I discussed this with my friend Samantha the other day.  I could never have imagined life in Indonesia before living here.  I read plenty about it before I came, but nothing approaches the actuality.  And now that I know I could never have imagined this—it has been proven by experience—I’m open to the idea that there must be a enormous amount of shit that I just don’t get.  I will never understand the experience of a soldier in Afghanistan or the cares and worries of a Chinese migrant worker.  At least now I know that.  In Rumsfeldian terminology, such things are ‘known unknowns’.  Coming to Indonesia, a lot ‘unknown unknowns’ have transformed to ‘known knowns’ and ‘known unknowns’.  Attempts at empathy run into trouble when there are too many unknown unknowns.

A final change has to do with old ghosts, as you might call them.   Interpersonal issues, ex-relationship issues, tensions.  The ghosts once had sharp teeth, but they’ve fallen out with time, distance, and growth.  A gummy bite can’t break the skin.  Being free of old, irrelevant anxieties has been most welcome.

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Random #2

A lot of Volunteers get into the meat of their service and have to radically recalibrate their expectations about the kind of difference they can make.  Having known that before leaving for Indonesia, I came in with as few expectations as possible.  Largely thanks to that, I haven’t been disappointed by my “ineffectiveness”.  In the areas where I’ve concentrated my energy—adopting fair grading practices, revamping the way English is taught in my classes, getting teachers to be more accountable, making personal connections with the students, making them more comfortable with speech, making English interesting—I think I’ve been effective.  That doesn’t mean I’ve succeeded at everything.  My English Development extracurricular died rather pathetically, and after a few successes my English Club followed.  The initial plans for a teacher’s English course have never borne fruit, nor have several other project ideas.  But some things have succeeded, or served a purpose while they were ongoing. 

Another fourteen months or so lie ahead.  I’ve had the feeling since I got here that once I got to the half-way point—the top of the mountain, so to speak—everything would speed up.  That’s still my suspicion.  It seems like a long time still, but I know it’s going to blaze by, and I really want to make it count. 

I'm Bored. Here's Some Stuff.

The formula was valid a year ago.  I spent so many days doing nothing—just trying to make plans for the evening, looking longingly at my dirty clothes and wishing the pile could grow legs and walk over to the machine.  Days where I did nothing but wait for the Heat game to start at 7:30.  So much time just waiting for life to happen.  What’s worse is when you’ve been a sloth for so long that you actually start to fear and avoid activity.  Actually, no, Dad, I would NOT like to go to the store and pick up the groceries. Make JESSE do it.

Since the second semester began, I’ve been busier than ever (not counting the last two days, which have been depressingly empty).  I mean, I’ve been busy in my life before, but it’s usually been because of a large school workload and having to go to a job.  That’s not really chosen.  Here I have to choose my activities and fill up my time by myself.  I’ve started to get really antsy when there’s nothing do, which is a big change from before.  I used to thrive in downtime.  Now I don’t want it at all, unless I’ve earned it by tiring myself out with some kind of productivity.

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·      I’ve had one-on-one English conversations with 56 students so far, and my counterparts have talked with another 17.   I’ve been surprised by how many kids have worked up the nerve to make appointments with me or a counterpart.  Once a few did it, more and more jumped on the train, and I think there will be no bottleneck issue at the end of the semester.  I learned not to make more than two appointments in one day.  My eyes begin to resemble glazed donuts after about 75 minutes.  I’ve also been keeping notes of all my conversations and entering them into a big document on my computer.  My “student conversation journal” now has over 30 full pages of information about my students—where they live, the makeup of their families, their ambitions, their likes and dislikes, my observations of their strengths and weaknesses, and much other information besides.  Priceless!

·      We’ve started the World Map Project at my school.  There’s been a lot of enthusiasm for it.  The project is painting a mural of a world map on a wall in my school.  It’s located in a really good spot.  I’ve been documenting the creation, and will continue to do so.  When it’s finished, it’ll make for a really good slideshow.  The students (and the principal) have been very enthusiastic about it.

·      There’s a new principal at my school.  He seems like a good fellow, we’ve gotten along well so far.  The farewell ceremony for the departing principal was perfectly Indonesian in its mixture of formality, fun, absurdity, and mishap.  I may write about this later.

·      Borrowing an idea from Truong, a PCV friend who’s done great things at his site the last two years, I started a conversation club.  Five students form a group, and that group must meet with an English teacher—probably me—three times a week for at least 20 minutes to speak English.  At the moment we’ve got three groups, but I’m hoping this will expand to five or six by sometime in April.  It’s been awesome.

·      That last bullet comes somewhat at the expense of the English Club, which has fallen apart due to lack of coordinated leadership.  Nobody was paying enough attention to it, and we weren’t promoting our activities, so kids weren’t showing up consistently at all.  We may revive this later on, but make it a biweekly activity.  It could work, but we’ve gotta do things differently.

·      Last week I helped a few students with speeches in English for a contest that my school held.  Justice prevailed in the contest, and the winner was the student who actually wrote his own speech, rather than copying one directly out of a book.  About 16 students participated, and three of them made exactly the same speech about the environment.  There were a couple other duplicates as well.  What really struck me about helping students to write speeches is that, more than learning how to use English correctly, the students need help in thinking logically.  They are so unpracticed at making arguments, it’s somewhat shocking.  I actually found myself discussing the Introduction-Thesis-Argument-Conclusion format.  Terrible flashbacks of FCAT days.  I had to pry specifics out of students who are only used to speaking and thinking in generalities (“don’t do bad things because bad things will make your life worse”).  Critical thinking…desperately needed.

·      New trainees arriving next month!  Yay!  I hope some of you are reading this, and if you are, you should know that I’m very excited to meet you all, and if you’ve got any questions or concerns you want to send my way, feel free.  I want to make it a point of my service to be helpful/useful to the newer folks, and I’m very interested in getting to know you guys. 

·      Next month will make one year in Indonesia.  You know, no big deal.  I’ve been thinking about stuff to do after these two years have been completed.  Part of me is considering extending service, if the conditions are right and the job fits—and if I can still stand it here in another year.  Grad school, as ever, remains on the table.  And then part of me really wants to do some sort of traveling or adventure in the world.  And who knows what sort of working opportunities might tempt me were I cool with staying in Asia?  So much to think about, but nothing yet to decide. 

          

Two Farewells

Two of my friends, Jenn and Cody, have decided to resign from the Peace Corps and move back to the States.  Another friend remains undecided, but seems likely to follow them.  Jenn and Cody were both in my training village of Giripurno.  I saw them every day during my first two and a half months in Indonesia: they were two of my three or four best friends.  Not to make it about me (because this is infinitely harder on them), but these farewells suck.

The official phrase for ending one’s service before completing the two-year term is “early termination”—ET for short.  The rate varies among countries, but ETs are a normal part of any Peace Corps program.  I’ve read that the worldwide average in 2009 was 29%, and I’ve heard that in certain countries the rate can climb over 50%.  Assuming the first statistic is accurate, PC Indonesia remains below the global average. If the third friend indeed opts to resign, the ET rate in Indonesia will stand at 20%—ten people out of fifty—combined for the first two groups.  Two of those ten left before swearing in as Volunteers due to a family emergency.  But one group still has four months, while the other still has sixteen months (meaning it seems likely that the current Indonesia PCVs will be end up at the average ET rate). 

I think many people have mistaken notions about Peace Corps service in general.  Some think of it as a sort of holiday, while others assume it’s a two-year exile to the Stone Age.  People hold mistaken assumptions about the personalities of PCVs, their motivations for serving, and the hardships they face.  Likewise, I believe people are quick to think they understand why some PCVs quit and others don’t.  I’ve had a few conversations with non-PCVs about the impending ETs and been met with misguided psychologizing.  Explicit or not, the next step is always judgment.

Before leaving for my service, I also thought about ETs.  Why do they happen?  Because of personal failures or impossible situations?  How can anyone live with themselves after quitting? 

And, without wanting to sound haughty, what I’ve learned is that you have to be here to understand it.

(Even then, you might not get it.)

The reasons that people ET are as varied as the reasons they sign up.  Some leave within days or weeks of arrival, others after many months of stubbornness.  To name a few of the categories of reasons for leaving early: health problems; family problems; inability to adapt to a sufficient degree; lack of personal fulfillment; the realization that the desire to serve was founded on faulty assumptions or expectations; simple boredom; realization of one’s genuine calling; reaching one’s limit for dealing with foreign bullshit (as opposed to familiar bullshit); and, in general, coming to the understanding that this job doesn’t fit one’s personality.

The word “quit” is loaded—at least in my American brain.  It assumes failure and weakness, and it signals judgment.  Weakness and failure have nothing to do with ETs, which, I suppose, explains my sensitivity about this topic.  I bristle at the thought of people judging my friends as weak.  In the ten months they’ve been here, they have shown fortitude and grit.  And now, rather than growing bitter in obstinacy, they’re showing humility and prudence.  It’s tough to revise one’s thoughts about success and failure.  This deserves praise, not pity.  I’m proud of my friends for having gone as far as they could, and I’m proud of them for refusing to be prisoners of others’ expectations.  

angels and demons

By recent standards, his has been a long silence—about a month and a half since I posted anything of substance.  Why the hush?  Let’s just say that for about six weeks I experienced a wave of exactly the opposite emotions that raised me so high around September and October.  Down, down, and again down, as I’ve never felt before, even in the very blackest times.  Every joy clouded and poisoned, every sorrow magnified.  But it was (is) all part of one experience, being high and being low. 

Recognize beauty and ugliness is born.

Recognize good and evil is born.

Is and Isn’t produce each other.

           

            Hard depends on easy,
            Long is tested by short,

            High is determined by low,

            Sound is harmonized by voice,

            After is followed by before.

I feel different now: older, more awake, less innocent, and mortal.  And I am thankful that, finally, I can focus again.

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Recap

If I had to make a chart of how my emotions have changed since getting here, it’d probably look something like this.  Imagine 0 representing emotional Purgatory and 10 being the Garden of Eden.

Another week will make ten months in Indonesia, and it’s already been about seven point five at site.  As you can see from the chart, I came in feeling better than average, and as training went on I was feeling quite good.  I arrived at site in mid-June, things weren’t great for a while, including the start of school.  Ramadan was slightly better, but still not great because of a ridiculous school schedule.  Things immediately improved after Ramadan (start of September), as my schedule changed and I started seeing some changes.  I went on the best four-day vacation I’ll probably ever have, and things just got better after that.  In mid-October, I was as high as you can legally be.  That was right around In-Service Training (IST).  After IST, I didn’t feel quite as wonderful, and could even feel myself getting edgy about not being as happy as I was.  By the beginning of December, despite a lovely Thanksgiving dinner, things were just okay.  Within a week, plunged into existential crisis.  Semester ended, vacation started, and things just got worse, right up ’til about mid-January.  That was the bottom.  And then, some light, a break in the clouds.  There was a week of swinging rather wildly.  And as suddenly as I started feeling terrible (and thus thinking terrible things), I started feeling like myself (and thus thinking good things).  The last two weeks have been a climb to a stable emotional level, mixing some wonderful moments and some more melancholy ones, but nothing like the extremity that I’ve felt at times over the last four months.

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The Meatgrinder

I know all Peace Corps Volunteers are supposed to go through huge swings like this.  I don’t mean to make an exception of myself, nor do I mean to dismiss others’ experiences as somehow less intense, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I think there was something atypical in the last four months.  PCVs are known to swing quickly, laughing hysterically one hour and crying the next.  Often there is little to signal the change.  I have talked with many other PCVs about what they’ve gone through, and I sense that my experience thus far kind of stands out in its intensity.  For me, the swings have not come as frequently as for others.  They have built up slowly, like wood being heaped onto a pyre, and then exploded into flames with a dazzling intensity.  It’s been more than high and low.  It’s been ecstasy and despair, invincibility and terror. 

I was told I was about to enter a meatgrinder, but I didn’t expect this.  Imagine running a gauntlet with beautiful naked women battering you with pillows made of kisses on one side, and machete-wielding al-Qaeda operatives on the other.  In the best of times, I’ve felt half-guilty for how much I love it here.  In the worst, I’ve been completely unable to do many of the things I normally love—listen to music, read books, watch films.

I do recognize that a lot of the negative things have been amplified by a growing sense of boredom.  The thrill of the discovery has faded.  The charm of my house’s lime-green walls has worn off.  In fact, everything looks crappy at night under these white fluorescent lights.  Every warble and quaver of the old man’s voice through the loudspeakers is jab at my patience.  The very thought of “passing time” with entertainments like mediocre television and forgettable novels disturbs me deeply.  Despite my complaints about the lack of privacy back in the beginning, at this point the amount of time I’ve spent alone seems ludicrous, given my circumstances.

So I have tried to change things a bit.  I am out more often.  I make—and carry out—more plans with my PCV friends.  I’m becoming ever closer with my students, which is making school far more enjoyable than it was in the first semester.  I spend more time with my host family, and I feel we have grown much closer since the beginning of January.  I spend more time with the boys who live at the school.  I send more text messages and make more Skype calls.  I play futsal (an indoor soccer game) with other teachers once every week, and I tutor a local boy in conversation.

I’ve talked with many people about the things that have weighed me down.  Sometimes it has helped, sometimes not.  For all my personal troubles, my work as a volunteer is getting better.  I planted many seeds in the first six months, and the first fruits are blossoming.  This semester promises to surpass the first.  And outside of school, there are also many, many things to look forward to.  Among them: four-day intensive language course next month, much vacation time that can be used for traveling, arrival of fifty trainees (meaning fifty potential new friends) in April, being able to help with the training, and visits from my brother and some friends in June.

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Notes

-  Time goes on, my life seems to get less technological.  My Kindle is broken.  My fan is broken.  There is no internet in my house.  My headphones are broken, which renders my iPod useless and makes recording music rather difficult.  For a month or so, my watch was broken (since repaired).  The critical technologies for me are the cell phone and the laptop.  They are what allow me to work and to communicate with others.  Everything else is expendable, it seems.  Of course, I still have my guitar.  I feel better at guitar than I used to be.

-  Here’s an early difference between this year and last: I have not listened to any new music nor watched any new television shows since New Year.  I did read the biography of Steve Jobs.  Other than that, I’ve read part of a wonderful graphic novel (Blankets) and have been reading the Tao Te Ching a lot.  I haven’t seen any new movies (excepting Sherlock Holmes in a theater in Surabaya while hanging with some friends), but have watched a few old ones again.  I feel like my “consumption” levels are plummeting.

-  Do you know that feeling, where your brain has felt out the shape of something profound, but cannot apprehend the details?  Like some familiar smell that evokes the force of a memory, but not the memory itself?  These days I often feel that.  There are these smells of insight that I catch, and they all feel connected, and I want to believe that if I just sat still for long enough I could join all the dots and discern their message, and finally be able to define and articulate my philosophy.  But definition eludes me.

-   Ms. Ani and I devised a simple assignment that, up to this point, has turned out to be the best idea we’ve had all year.  Every one of my 128 students must make an appointment with one of their English teachers (either me or the co-teacher of that particular class) to speak English for half an hour.  The conversation is quite simple—I just go with whatever flow is there.  If the kid wants to talk about something, we do.  If the kid can’t lead, I lead.  The level at which I speak (and the amount of translation I will do) depends on their level of English.  The grade is either 0 or 100, but they cannot pass English with a zero on this assignment.  I’ve had about a dozen conversations so far, and Ms. Ani has done a handful as well.  Flock of birds: meet stone.  It forces the kids to actually, spontaneously produce something.  It forces them to do something courageous (they must make the appointment and keep it).  By the end, all of them are less afraid of having to speak.  It also gives them thirty minutes with the full, private attention of their English teacher.  No friends staring at them, nobody to laugh at their mistakes.  It gives me a chance to ask them personal questions and learn about their lives and interests.  Because there is no grade other than completion, it allows them to experience English as a vehicle for communication and not just as another metric to tell them how good they are.  Many people gasp in shock when they hear THIRTY MINUTES, but the truth is that it needs to be that long.  It goes by quickly—many students want to continue talking.  It needs some time for them to get comfortable and for the conversation to take its own course.  Talking to these kids has been one of the best things I’ve done since coming to Indonesia.

WBT

Hi, world.

We have officially entered Writer’s Block Territory.

I finished my first semester at school.  I went on vacation to Lombok and Bali.  School started again.  I feel no desire to write about these things.

The last six weeks have been tough, mentally, but I don’t want to go into it in a public space.  I’m trying hard to focus on living in the moment. 

I hope that sometime soon I’ll be able to shake off this thing I’m going through, and then I can serve up many more helpings of my brainstew.